The Gifting Speech

The gifting spirit of the wedding was inspired by Lewis Hyde’s The Gift.

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The author’s premise is that a work of art is a gift, not a commodity. A gift is something that we do not get by our own efforts. We cannot buy it; we cannot acquire it through an act of will. It is bestowed upon us. It has to be given and shared to make it a gift; if you try to hold on to it, it ceases to be a gift. There is no set price that we can place on a gift, much in the same way we cannot put a price on having our hearts moved or our souls revived.

The love between two people is a gift. One of the most important aspects of the gift of love is that it is kept alive by constant donation. A circle develops between the giver and the receiver in which they eventually become indistinguishable. The giving of a gift establishes a relationship. Furthermore, when gifts circulate within a group, their exchange leaves a series of interconnected relationships. This is where all of you come in. You, who have come to celebrate the union of Kendall and Kirsten, are also part of the circle. We are very glad that you have come to share this experience.

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It was really important to us that the wedding was an event in which everybody participated in one way or another. Boston Mike presided over the service. Beau cooked an enormous amount of prime rib. The dogs took part by carrying the rings into the ceremony. My dad poured wine. My mom, along with Boston Mike's mom, helped clean the kitchen. Josh Gruber prepared appetizers with the help of Dave Fischer. Anthony and Carmen did readings. DC Mike helped with details and provided some excellent photography as did Erin Finzer. And the list goes on. In this way, the gifts circulated within our circle in a way that kept our wedding honest. This was the communal spirit that we wanted to bring. Because all of our friends and family were important in making this happen.